I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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