erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
