i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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