$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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