dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
