I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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