He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
