btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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