tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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