i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
