My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My feet surprised me
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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