my mouth tastes like poor choices
we made out on top of his cat.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
