fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
