i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
