??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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