So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
