And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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