Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She just used a chaser for red wine.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
