physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
as a side note pls kill me
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize