remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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