strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
