Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Randomize
