His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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