Im at strip club and am horny
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
