Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
