Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
