Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
