Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
