think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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