so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
