You made me cry and you don't even care
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize