just survived the first fart of the relationship.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
