Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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