Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
