There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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