How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
