So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
