Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
