Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
