I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
