my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
