Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
