I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
