I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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