I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
