that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
