It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
