We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
