Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
