So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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