She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
