i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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