There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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