His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
