i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
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