just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I AM VODKA MAN
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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