After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
