You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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