just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
