She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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