Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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