I think I am morally bankrupt
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
