i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
